\stnəm-gif'\ : FIGMENTS

Wisdom From Kids

2009-09-21T03:03:00.000+08:00

Got this from a tumblr I follow. We should learn from them! :)

What is the proper age to get married?

“Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)

When I am done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tommy, 5)

What do most people do on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

When is it okay to kiss someone?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ‘cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)

The Great Debate: Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

Why does Love happen between two people?

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)

What is it like to fall in love?

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)

“If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes to long time to learn.” (Leo, 7)

On the role of good looks in love and marriage:

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)

Concerning why lovers hold hands:
“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off, because they paid good money for them.” (David, 8)

Confidential opinions about love:

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ are on TV.” (Anita, 6)

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I’ve been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)

Personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)

Some sure-fire ways to make a person fall in love with you:

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)

How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food,” (Brad, 8)

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)

What most people are thinking when they say ‘I love you’:
“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

How a person learns to kiss:
“You learn it right on the spot, when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)

“It might help if you watched soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)

When is it okay to kiss someone?
“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you… that’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

How to make love endure:

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)

“Don’t forget your wife’s name… that will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out.” (Randy, 8)

Words of Wisdom ala Bob Ong

2009-09-20T20:56:00.006+08:00

Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, huwag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.
Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wan-tu-sawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.
Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na mahal ka pero di mo mahal. Kaya quits lang.
Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.
Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili niya.
Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal nakakatakot mahulog at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.
Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!
Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.
Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.
Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.
Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.
Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh, meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.
Kung maghihintay ka ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Dapat lumandi ka din.
Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.
Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.
Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.
Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam? Wag kang magpakatanga sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga. Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan kung lagi ka naming sinasaktan.. Imbes na magtanong ka ng Hindi pa ba sapat? Bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat? Kung alam mong binabale-wala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na siya. Wag kang magpadala sa salitang sorry at ayokong mawala ka. Kung totoo yun, papatunayan nya.
Minsan nililinlang ka na lang ng sarili mong damdamin na akala mo nasasaktan ka pa din. Pero ang totoo-naalala mo lang talaga yung pakiramdam nung nasaktan ka. Pareho lang din yun sa pag-aakalang mahal mo pa yung tao pero ang totoo- naiisip mo lang yung pakiramdam mo dati nung mahal mo pa siya.
Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.
Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.
Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan.
Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.
Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.
Bakit ka matitiis sa taong alam mong sakit lang sa ulo mo? Wag mong ikulong ang sarili mo sa hawlang ginto pero sira ang kandado. Sino bang may sabing hindi madaling makahanap ng kapalit? Kahit ibon marunong maghanap ng bagong pugad, tao pa kaya?
Paano mo masasabing special ka sa isang tao kung ang bawat ginagawa niya sayo ay ginagawa din niya sa iba?
Sabi nila kahit ano daw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa yo - ang sarili mo. kaya siguro namigay ng konsensya ang dyos, alam nyang hindi sa lahat ng oras gumagana ang utak ng tao.
Marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teachers sa labas ng eskwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo.
Kahit ikaw ay parang bato na manhid at walang pakiramdam, mag-ingat-ingat ka naman. Dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan, kaya mo namang makasakit.
Walang taong manhid. Hindi niya lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating dahil ayaw mo siyang diretsuhin.
(jayvee on Tumblr)

Itim Na Notebook

2009-09-17T02:43:00.003+08:00

May napulot akong itim na notebook. Notebook hindi libro na paborito ni Hudas. Simula nung napulot ko ito naging miserable at nagkagulo-gulo ang buhay ko. Dahil mahiwaga at may kapangyarihang pumatay ang notebook na ito. May nakapaloob dito na rules o guidelines kung papaaano gamitin to. Marami, yung iba mahirap ng intindihin. Pero dalawa ang maliwanag kung papaano gamitin ito. Ang isa, isulat ang tunay na pangalan ng gusto mong mamatay. Mamamatay ito sa loob ng 40 segundo. Ikalawa, kailangan alam mo ang mukha ng taong isinusulat mo ang pangalan, para hindi maapektuhan ang mga taong magkapareho ng pangalan.

Kalokohan naman ito sabi ko sa aking sarili. Pero nakakakiliti ng utak, kaya sinubukan kong gamitin. Habang binabalita sa telebisyon ang mga batang hinostage, nakuha ko ang pangalan at mukha ng hostage-taker. Sinulat ko ang pangalan nito sa notebook. Pagkalipas ng ilang segundo nagkagulo sa hostage scene at binalitang namatay daw ang hostage-taker. Hindi pwedeng mangyari ito, baka nagkataon lang. Coincidence ika nga. Kailangan kong patunayan ang bisa ng notbuk sa pangalawang pagkakataon. Madilim na ang paligid may isang babaeng naglalakad, ng bigla itong harangin ng mga lalaking nakamotor. Nagpakilala ang isang lalaki, dinig na dinig ko ang pangalan. Mga kriminal pala ang mga walang hiya. Sinulat ko ang pangalan ng gagong rapist sa notebook. Habang hinahabol ang babae, isang rumaragasang truck ang bumundol sa lalaking nakamotor. Wasak ang motor, wasak ang katawan ng kriminal.

Walang duda. May kapangyarihan akong pumatay ng mga taong masasama gamit ang notebook na ito. Gagamitin ko ito para gawing malinis ang mundo. Buburahin ko ang mga kriminal. Ang mga taong matutulis ang sungay. Ang mga taong mahahaba ang buntot. Tatawagin ko itong BAGONG MUNDO. Kayang-kaya kitang patayin. Paslangin. Kitilin ang buhay. Ako ang Hari dito. Ako ang may kontrol dito. Ako ang magiging Diyos sa bagong mundong ito. -Light Yagami

(From HariNgSablay)

We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness

I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted

I won’t let anyone interfere with

Everything that is to come in the future

A fruit has told me of the future

This city has forgotten reason

These distorted and black times will

Change into ideals, into dreams

Why? Am I a broken messiah?

The “end” that everyone has wished for…

We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness

I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted

I won’t let anyone interfere with

Everything that is to come in the future

One day I will show you

The sky that shines with light

Why? Am I a broken messiah?

The “paradise” that everyone dreamed of…

We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness

I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted

I won’t let anyone interfere with

Everything that is to come in the future

One day I will show you

The sky that shines with light

This is a song lyric from one of my favorite animes- The Death Note

It's a story about a smart yet bored high school student that accidentally/or on purpose have picked up a ’shinigami’s death note’ and by that he gained the power to kill anybody- just like the grim reaper…

I bet anyone who has seen the anime series/movie have their own views about it. But as for me, I have to say, I was once like Light, so idealistic.

I was full of angst before to the twisted and unrighteous people in the society that I want to be the hand of justice, however, it is so ironic that the more I hate them, the more I end up being like them...

Sulat Nina Nanay at Tatay

2009-09-16T19:50:00.004+08:00

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self pity ako sa tuwing sisigawan mo ako. Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng “binge!”. Pki-ulit na lang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat na lang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako. Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungan tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad. Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo na lang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? Kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo ‘yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga’t hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo. Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? Pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo. Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako’y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. ‘Pag tanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin. Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang, Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa, walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear. At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako’y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal. Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas na harapin ang kamatayan. At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa Kanya na pagpalain ka sana…dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama’t ina.

This letter got me crying. It made me think about all my shortcomings to my mom and dad. I wish to be a better person for them that someday I can give and show them how much I truly love them. At this point in time, at my age, I still depend on them when I should be helping them already. I should be one working and let them enjoy life to the fullest.

[Insert Title Here]

2009-09-14T21:47:00.000+08:00

This post is basically just a refresher. A statement of everything I've been into while I was gone. Undeniably, I got busy and preoccupied with so many things. Here's the rundown of what I did:

Before The Hiatus

It was three days before my birthday when I last posted something.
I made a wishlist, a birthday wishlist. (Someone laugh at me when he saw I was making a birthday wishlist, he even said, "Wishlist? Bakit Pasko ba birthday mo?" with matching tawa, medyo naasar ako but I didn't let him ruin and pester my mood, I just said, "Oo, pasko ng kapanganakan ko!")

The Wishlist:

1. A Laptop.
Unfornately, di ito natupad pero ika nga, "Kapag may pintong nagsara, may bintanang magbubukas", 'di man ako nagkalaptop, napalitan naman yung old pc ko, I'm using a much better pc now. Thanks to my Ate Pauline, 'yun pinaka birthday gift niya sa akin.

2. A real camera
(still waiting..)
Someone promised me this, gonna wait till December kung magkakatotoo pa.

3. 10 New T-Shirts
10 maybe too much but I am badly in need of new shirts, dahil sa I've gained some pounds, lumaki size ko, hirap ng lagi fit suot mo! Haha! I was able to buy 5 shirts, pag-ipunan ko muna yung iba.

Basically, that's it. I won't post the mushy stuff that I've wished. Next time na lang. Haha! Mababaw lang naman mga wishes ko, happy na ako na kahit paano may nagkatotoo..

The B-ig Day!
Ang araw ng aking kapanganakan and eventually the day that I got sick, the day that I got bitten by the "sick bug". Chilling with fever and coughing like thunder, may runny nose pa! :( I spent the whole day in bed, recuperating. Luckily by night I got a bit okay. Some of my friends from school and buddies from everywhere dropped by and decided to drink, I wasn't in the mood pero napilitan after all it's my birthday they're celebrating.
The night went on, everyone's having a good time except me, that wasn't my idea of how a birthday should be celebrated, but oh well I was able to enjoy somehow.

Pagkatapos ng lahat ng saya, darating ang lungkot. Nabinat ako. And I thought I got the flu! I was damn scared, akala ko A(H1N1) na, nagkaroon kasi ng outburst malapit sa lugar namin. The fever went on and off for two weeks. I went to a doctor and had my check up, the results are all good. I'm clean. :)

The rest of my busy days.

I got addicted to Facebook.
I got hooked on Restaurant City and Farmville.
That consumed all my web hours.

If I'm not online, expect me on the road. I've been learning how to drive a motorcycle! And yes, after a sprain at isang mahapding paso mula sa tambutso natuto ako! Ang sarap pala magdrive, may natural high! Gusto ko tuloy magkaroon ng motor. Imma change my wishlist no. 2. I lay my case pag-uwi ni Papa. Magpapakagoodboy muna ako.. :)

So that's it.
See you around. :)

Back From Hiatus

2009-09-12T02:28:00.006+08:00

Howdy folks? I recently realized that I haven't wrote anything for quite some time. Kinda made me sad over intentions lost. So anyway, I'd like to catch up and see whats happening. I've been away and in the past few months I've been very busy.

It’s been awhile since I posted anything to this blog and I guess I oughta explain the gap in entries and my hesitation on starting this up again. Sometimes, you see, it seems like I’m shouting into the darkness or just muttering to myself. Even starting with low expectations, I found the feeling too isolating for a sustained effort.

I mean, I knew not to expect thunderous applause or even comments. Still, the very idea of writing another entry came to be seen simply as another chore, one that would probably go unnoticed if it went undone. Turns out, I was right.

Aside from that, the rest of my leisure hours was spent either on Facebook and Twitter or I'm just busy with my social life-reconnecting and establishing new friendship which leaves me no time to write something.

So for now at least, I am back on track though moving somewhat slower. Anyway, I'd like to say thank you to all those who keep on reading. Expect more entries in the coming days. However, it seems to be better that I don’t say what I’ll be writing when, since I so seldom keep to such plans. Anyway, consider this entry to be back from hiatus. Also, subscribe so that you don’t have to keep visiting the site to see if there’s something new.

The Greatest Advice

2009-07-25T18:01:00.002+08:00

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. God is good all the time.

The Rubber Poem

2009-07-24T16:54:00.002+08:00

Kissing is a habit

Fucking is a game

Guys get the pleasure

Girls get the pain.

The guy says, "I love you!"

You believe it's true

But when your tummy

Starts to swell

He just says, "Who the hell are you?"

5 hours of pleasure

9 months in pain

2 days in the hospital

And a baby without name.

The baby is a bastard

The mother is a whore

This wouldn't happen

If the "rubber" was put on!

-----------------

The rubber is the layman's term for condom.

Spread this poem not the sperm! :p

Lesson: Play safe. Haha!

Buddha Without The Wisdom

2009-07-19T10:27:00.001+08:00

Okay… chances are that if you’re reading this, then you want to know more about me… or want to check if I have written another nonsensical stuff (I don‘t know why some people read the stuff I write when all I do are crap.) But who am I to complain? That’s what these things are all about, right? It would beat the purpose of posting if I won’t let anyone read it. I might as well just write a diary if that’s the case.

Usual blogs begin with a primer about the blogger. I have been blogging for ….aahhm….6 months now, but I have never thought of writing a good primer about me. But it’s never late to describe myself. I am lazy… I am so fucking lazy there are times when I don’t want to move at all. Okay, so that gives a bit info to digest. When someone asks me for my stats, I usually laugh in their face. One thing, number’s don’t describe the important parts of me, atleast, not the truly important parts of my being. I am a nice guy, and I think that’s what matters. Never dare ask about my weight because you’ll never-ever get an honest answer. Okay… for those who haven’t seen me in person, I am like the ugly version of Buddha without the wisdom. (But I'm not that big, okay… yes, I'm stock, but not fat!) A very special someone used to call my extra-baggage “love-handles.” You see, there are ways to describe unpleasant things in a nice and more acceptable way.

Okay… moving onto smaller topics, here’s a list of things that describe and interest me.

In no particular order:

Lazy (Already mentioned.)
Computers (On them almost day and night… Waah! Someone got to get me off them, pls!)
Reading (Twilight Saga right now...)
Drawing (I believe I was born with the talent to draw but I do not really use it. I used to draw with pencil and oil and pastel. I might get into it again.)
Music (I can listen to almost anything but Pinoy Rap! All are crap! Except Francis M - he‘s good. I have written a few songs.)
Foods (I LOVE eating. Can‘t live without sweets. I'm starting to like spicy food!)
Chocolates (No particular brand… but my favorite is Reeses. Anything that is made from chocolates are a real turn on -from chocolate bars to cakes to drinks.)
Beer (I used to drink every other day. But now, because of my limited budget I am forced to do it once a week. When in bars, I drink nothing harder than Vodka-tonic.)
Sweat (Yes, I sweat easily, specially my face. It’s like 2/3 of my body is made of super-active sweat glands.)
Haircut (Everytime I need a haircut I never know how to tell what I like my hair to be so I end up to always having the clean cut!)
Death Note(That‘s my favorite Japanese cartoon at the moment - used to be Nautro.)
Boring (In general, I am wearingly dull, repetitive and tedious. But I can be fun with fun people. It depends on the people I am with.)
Photography (not a professional photographer but I like taking photos with my old Nokia N70‘s 3.2 Mega-pixel Camera. I might get a real camera soon.)
Love-sick Pup (It says it all.)
Sex (I'll think about it sometimes... lol)
Single (Dating and flirting but still very much available… any takers?)

That’s a fair-late start, but there’s more out there. More things to learn and discover about me. Ask questions as you want and I’ll answer them as best as I can. However, I do reserve the right to not answer.

I am going to finish my Nursing degree. I remember someone told me before...

“You better know what you want to do with your life first before you get myself involved on your fairytales of a perfect life. No one can make your life perfect except you! Do not be content with what you have, shake up your life a little bit. Grow up and move on, not for me, but for yourself!”

I cried after that.

Yeah, another thing, I cry as easy as I laugh. And I hate it.

A Devil's Game

2009-07-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

It all started with a text message. A stranger. She has been receiving a lot of text messages from unknown sources lately. Thanks to unlimited texting, replying to these strangers is not a problem. Most of these strangers would be a favorite textmate for a couple of days and when there is nothing more to talk about, a new once would come making her cellphone ring and fingers shifting through its keypad.

April 5, 2008.

She received a text message from another stranger.

"Requiem in G Minor Opus 31?" she read on her cellphone screen.

"Yes, who's this? Is there anything I can do for you?" she replied.

"You wrote the story?"

"Yes. May I know who you are?"

"I like your story. It's really unique. I've never read anything like it before. I would be lying if I told it's superb, I think it's not that polished." the unknown sender said.

"I must admit, I didn't really put that much of attention to it. I wasn't even able to read the edited version before handling it over to the publisher." she explained politely.

"I saw the copy on my uncle's bed. You've got a really creative editorial board. Your story is the first I've read. By the way it's Dave." the sender finally introduced himself.

"Well Dave, thank you for your compliments, I really appreciate it, I'll tell my colleagues of your flattering remarks... until next time!" she texted back with much aloofness and showing no interest to Dave.

She continued flipping thourgh the pages of her favorite coffee-table book. A little while later, Dave texted her again. He said he's very interested with her. He wants to know more about her. He wants to know the story behind her story.

"Your story, it's somehow true isn't it? I used to write when I was in high school." Dave said.

"Yes, the idea is somehow true. I had a relationship with a certain piano teacher and when we broke up I wanted to take his life myself. Why did you stop writing? You're not inspired or you're too busy with your work?" she asked.

"Neither. Things happened. I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid. You see I wrote a story before, a terrorist attack on a world famous landmark. A few years later 9-11 happened. The exact same thing that I wrote in the story happened; the world trade center, the airplane, almost every single detail. I was afraid of course. I blamed myself for what happened that I swore writing off." Dave explained.

"So you think you've got premonition? Or you have the ability that anything you write will happen? Hey, why don't we test if it's really your story that made 9-11 attack happened? Write a fairytale story for me. You know, the old "happily-ever-after" stuff? Make me me the heroine so that when I find my prince it's guaranteed to be a happy ending 'cause you wrote it." she suggested eagerly.

Dave laughed at her. "You still believe in that stuff? There's no way that I'm going to do it for you."

(To be continued...)

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-17T00:00:00.001+08:00

Ms. Abegail Ortiz

God bless and take care always...

The Bro Code

2009-07-13T10:29:00.001+08:00

Article 1:
Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

Article 2:
Never drink the last beer, unless you’ve been granted specific permission that it’s OK.

Article 3:
If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you’re buddy’s sister.

However, if it’s your buddy’s cousin, well she’s up for grabs, and you’re welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

Article 4:
Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.

Article 5:
You must never own a cat.

New amendment to this rule: A Bro may never own more than 2 cats, but only if they adhere to the Bro Code

Article 6:
If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

1. Your best friends (in order of how long you’ve known them).
2. Your acquaintances.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
7. John Kerry.
….1,485,726. Your girlfriend.

Article 7:
You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. You may have no more.

Article 8:
Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

Article 9:
If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once. The Bro with the better paying job is required to buy the first round. If the other Bro is temporarily out of money or left his wallet at home drinks can be lended yet in the long run these drinks must be repaid, later that night by wingman services or any other act of entertainment or at the next gathering.

Article 10:
There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

Article 11:
If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it’s a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

Article 12:
Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

Article 13:
NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection).

Article 14:
It’s alright to cheat at any game where money isn’t involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as “games.”

Article: 15:
Don’t tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

Article 16:
Never openly question another guy’s sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team.

Article 17:
When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she’s dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that’s the case, make it quick.

Article 18:
Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

Article 19:
Never share a bed with a guy, unless there’s no way around it.

Article 20:
Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can’t stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they’ve gone out with someone.

Article 21:
In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.

Article 22:
A Bro should not sing and dance at the same time

Article 23:
A Bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

Article 24:
Men do not lie about their age.

Article 25:
A Bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.

Article 26:
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight. A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro’s viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: “The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps.”

Article 27:
A Bro should never carry a woman’s handbag

Article 28:
A Bro should never go tanning.

Article 29:
No Bro should dye their hair

Article 30:
A Bro should never refer to an athlete as a “stud”

Article 31:
A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

Article 32:
A Bro should not “pop” his collar.

Article 33:
A Bro should not speak more than two languages.

Unless

1. He has lived for a minimum of 9 months in a country whose main language is one of those languages
2. He uses the extra language as a means of picking up women who only speak that language
3. His job requires him to know more than 2 languages
4. It is a means of only to impress women and nothing else

If in the occurrence that a Bro knows more than 2 languages, it is the given right for said bro to invite other bros to parties where this language is spoken, having said bro escort and be the official bilingual wingman.

Article 34:
Bro’s cannot make eye contact during a “devil’s threeway” (two dudes.)

Article 35:
A Bro should never say “it’s to die for”

Article 36:
A Bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

Article 37:
A Bro should not wear an ascot.

Article 38:
A Bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

Article 39:
A Bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

Article 40:
A Bro should never “sip” and alcoholic drink through a straw

Article 41:
A Bro should never wear a blouse.

Article 42:
If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

Article 43:
A Bro should not wear crocs.

Article 44:
A Bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

Article 45:
A Bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

Article 46:
A Bro should not eat grapes from the vines

Article 47:
A Bro should never rollerblade

Article 48:
The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

Article 49:
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

Article 50:
A Bro should never, ever wear capri pants.

Article 51:
A Bro should not wear flip flops with a suit.

Article 52:
No Bro should wear a speedo to the beach

Article 53:
A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection. In the event that one Bro finds himself lacking the necessary prophylactic accoutrements needed to complete the act of coitus in a safe and effective manner, he is in the right to expect his Bro will use all measures within or without his means to provide the aforementioned prophylactic in a timely yet discreet fashion. When a Bro signals his need using previously agreed upon code words and/or body signage, it is understood that his Bro will discontinue all present activity [excepting the act of coitus itself [whereby which Bro vows to finish as quickly as possible]], in order to respond with a panoply of options at Bro-in-need’s location. A Bro must patronize the most rapid method of transportation available while endeavoring to assist his Bro. In no instance may a two-wheeled bicycle be used* as this is not only humiliating, but also potentially harmful to the perineum - a zone of tissue perilously adjacent to noted sexual organs. In the event that a state, federal, international, or galactic law is breached due to recklessness, unacceptable levels of speed, and/or the hijacking of an airborne vehicle(s), it is understood that the primary Bro will shoulder any associated legal fees or fines. However, any costs or damages incurred from the use of public transportation are the responsibility of the secondary Bro alone as this is an instance of Quid Pro Bro. Upon arrival at the primary Bro’s location, the secondary Bro must exercise complete discretion so as not to disrupt the primary Bro’s “flow.” It is understood that a Bro will engage in all training necessary to achieve this objective, including, at minimum, a five month Ninjitsu curriculum mastering the twin arts of stealth and secrecy.** Once the primary Bro has been supplied with the necessary prophylactic(s), the Brocedure is deemed complete upon exchange of the traditional, though in this case silent, “high five.” Tacit in this unspoken ritual is the understanding that said episode will never be spoken of again, unless it’s part of an awesome story. * Unless a bicycle is the ONLY form of transportation, as in some Cambodian villages **

Article 54:
No Bro should make a kissing face in a photo.

Article 55:
No Bro should wear girl jeans

Article 56:
A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has thrice confirmed it’s cool.

Article 57:
A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro/chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

Article 58:
If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro’s girlfriend’s birthday and/or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Article 59:
One Bro makes a solo attack.
A Second Bro provides a crutch,
A third Bro rounds out the pack,
But a fourth Bro is one too much

Article 60:
Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girls wildly unattractive friend/cousin/sister.

Article 61:
A Bro shall honor thy father and mother

Article 62:
In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo(rock paper scissors) shall determine the outcome

Article 63:
In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in any capacity, including but not limited to; the high-five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteus pat. Winking is also a no no.

Article 64:
A Bro must provide his Bro to a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro’s favorite sports team in a playoff scenario

Article 65:
A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supercedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

Article 66:
If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than “that sucks, Bro” and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - deserved or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

Article 67:
Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing , another Bro shall point out that he is a tool

Article 68:
If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work; or temporary immigration to a foreign country.

Article 69:
No Bro should ever get a pedicure

Article 70:
A Bro should never highlight his hair.

Article 71:
A Bro should not talk to another Bro in the bathroom.

Article 72:
A Bro should never sing show tunes.

Article 73:
A Bro should never eat out of another Bro’s hands.

Article 74:
Two men should not share an umbrella.

Article 75:
A Bro should not have “an outfit”.

Article 76:
A Bro should not wear a white belt.

Article 77:
A Bro never cries. Unless it’s regarding Article 31.

Article 78:
A Bro should never wiggle out of a pair of pants.

Article 79:
No Bro can hit another Bro in the groin unless victim Bro has broken the Bro code.

Article 80:
A Bro may never seek entertainment from professional women’s sports. Unless said entertainment be comedic or physical e.g. gymnastics, beach volleyball

Article 81:
What happens between bros stay between bros…
also known as the what happens in vegas stays in vegas rule and the what happens on tour stays on tour rule

Article 82:
If a Bro catches another Bro in plagiarism - albeit awesome plagiarism - a Bro shall be required to ask the Bro to cite his source.

Article 83:
A Bro can not cock-block another Bro UNLESS sleeping with said girl would break a Bro code.

Article 84:
Love thy neigh-Bro

Article 85:
No bros night out can start with “the wife put out some cheese” and end “with everyone at home by eleven, booya.”

Article 86:
If said bros is lost to a relationship, they must void all rights to use the bros code for any purpose and are rightfully subjected to any and all humorous ploys made to said post-bros by previous bros.

Article 87:
A Bro shall at all times say ‘Yes’.

Article 88:
Any bros who notice a fellow bros passed out at any social gathering due to drug or alcohol consumption, is obligated to take humiliating photo’s and/or videos of the passed out bros; unless said bros has consumed a whiskey, rum, scotch or other hard liquor to an excess of a ratio of: once ounce:3kg of body mass (7lbs imperial)

Article 89:
“A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro.” Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro’s mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. [[NOTA BENE: It is customary for a Bro to avoid such Brocularity if his Bro's mom is a 9 or better, for fear of Oedipal inducement.]] Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro’s adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro, ARTICLE 89 expressly prohibits the adopted Bro from invoking the Sloppy Second clause in any related filings with the International Court of Bros. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.

Article 90:
No bros should know any fellow bros weight for any reason. Previous bros code stipulation should only have an assumed weight. If the assumed weight is on the turning point of humility and peace, humility over-rides

Article 91:
When bros are up for the same promotion/job position and are subjected to interviews, bros in a prior interview must alert bros of any and all trick questions they can remember. This ensures all bros get an equal chance at the position/title because it is well known fact that the bros performing the interview wants to get the process over as quick as possible and the only way for a fair chance is to make all subsequent bros seem better.

Article 92:
When a bros introduces a fellow bros to their hot female friend, the introducer has the rights to the girl. The introduced bros can only attempt to get the girl if the introducer bros gives his consent.

Article 93:
If any bros acts out of line and defies any bros code during a multiple bros conversation with any number of girls, the other bros have the right to tell any humiliating stories and facts about said bros for the purpose of ruining said bros chances with the girl(s).

Article 94:
Should a Bro (1st, 2nd or 3rd) be hooking up with an unattractive woman, the Bro that notices this must do all in their power to stop said Bro from closing the deal, unless they are helping another Bro with Article 60.

Article 95:
Any girl passing out in a non-bedroom designated area of a dwelling occupied by more than one bros is not up for grabs under any circumstances. Additionally, said girl can be subjected to humiliating photos as long as other bros are alerted to its undertaking.

An Innocuous Hello

2009-07-12T13:02:00.003+08:00

Amidst the slow and lazy Saturday that I had yesterday, a most interesting thing happened last night.

A girl from my past suddenly sent me a message on Yahoo! Messenger, which was odd, because we don't really talk. Or rather, what's the point of talking to each other. She just said hello and that she's bored. Apologized for bothering me, I really don't know what knocked in my head thinking okay, maybe she and her boyfriend broke up so I asked what's wrong. She didn't really say why. She just kept saying sorry. I still wished (at the back of my head) that they would eventually broke up and then she would realize I'm the love of her life but I don't think that will happen. Not in a million years. Haha!

And then this thought bubble came to me, am I only good for women when they're fucking bored? How come she'd only have the gall to "talk" to me when she's nothing to do?

A Cheesy Poem

2009-07-11T19:51:00.003+08:00

Mahal kita, todo todo

Walang break, walang preno

Mabangga man sa kanto

Ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko

Sa dahon ng gumamela

Sa bulaklak ng sampaguita

Doon mo makikita

Ang salitang "Mahal Kita"

Mahal kita sa Filipino

I love you sa English

143 Sa Mathematics

Ewan ko lang sa Physics

Tubig is water

Ilog is river

Combine it together

I love you forever.

Haha!

I received this poem via text...

It's from Dayan.

I don't know who wrote it but I did like it.

It's so conotic!

Still

2009-07-11T16:00:00.003+08:00

by Hillsong

Hide me now, under Your wings.
Cover me within Your mighty hand.

Chorus:
When the oceans rise and thunders roar.
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father You are king over the flood,
I will be still and know You are God.

Find rest my soul in Christ alone,
Know his power, in quietness and trust.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar.
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father You are king over the flood,
I will be still and know You are God.

Find rest my soul in Christ alone,
Know his power, in quietness and trust.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar.
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father You are king over the flood,
I will be still and know You are God.

-------------------------------------------

This song has always been one of my favorites and my crying anthem. It reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our heart, for whatever we may be going through, God is in control of everything.

We are not alone -- God is with us in every step of the way, in every moment of our lives.

Life is all about holding on when you want to give up, loving more when you've had enough, and what's amazing is that we find the courage, the strength, and the hope to keep moving forward with faith... because God loves us very much. God is love.

There are so many things to be thankful for.. Let us lift our hands to God and never stop believing in Him. Keep walking by faith. God is the King of kings and Lord of lords!

Have a blessed week!

Stars, Moon, Planetary Alignment!

2009-07-11T09:41:00.005+08:00

Horoscope:

LEO

Today, you will enjoy learning about the background of a new person in your life.

That old saying about being careful what you wish for because you just might get it holds a lot more truth than you'd like to think. The trick when wishing, of course, is knowing the right things to ask for. So examine your secret hopes and desires. Which ones are just to impress other people? Toss those out. Which ones are the ones you think you 'should' ask for? Junk 'em as well. Now that you know what's left ... start wishing!

----------------------------------------

I don't actually believe in astrology or any form of fortune telling, but for the past few weeks, I've been following my horoscope and every time that I do read it, I feel like it was real. I mean, I can actually relate to the message. And today it hit me big time! I'm the type of person who's not so good at knowing "new" people. I'm shy and avoidant but now I am trying. I'm trying to invest and not worry anymore. With the fresh new start that I was given, I am starting to meet lots of people and little by little I am learning on how to really communicate, to not just talk but listen. To understand by the heart. I'm putting my best foot forward just to be able to connect. And at this point, I actually know what I want in my life, that's why I am gambling. And I think it's paying off... :)

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-11T00:16:00.001+08:00

Mr. Alvin Flores

& God bless on your Board Exam!

In 100 Words

2009-07-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

I didn't expect to see you, more or less talk to you. But here we are again, that same thing that had happened last year (which gave me those thrills and non-stop blushing and giggling) re-enacted. I was again resurrected with a name, a face. And now, I am in danger of falling. Falling over this pit of giddiness. I finally know where you live, I can easily stay outside your gate and gaze and gaze until you come out. Let me know you better. Let me in. This sudden meeting, this sudden acknowledgement, this sudden beat - exciting, exhilirating, temporary...

There's This Girl

2009-07-06T11:00:00.003+08:00

... who thinks everything can be solved with a 'just-friends' resolution. The 'are-we or aren't we' dilemma engulfs her in a sea of suspicion, leading her to think of dubious thoughts that slowly seal her already narrow mind. she wants to give in but she fails because of her cowardice. What she doesn't know is that maybe, just maybe, someone is giving her a chance to rethink her situation.

... who thinks that everything is a mess. She can't let go of her past and therefore it haunts her to a point where everything she sees is dark, bleary. She is probably a cynic, wondering if life plays games with her. And now that she's found that little spark of hope, she is afraid to grab it, lest she be burned in the process. From a masochistic point of view: pain is pleasure.

... who tries so hard to struggle with all her mixed emotions that she subconsciously transfers different feelings to other people. She constantly needs someone to reassure her that what she is feeling is unique for that particular person. She finds it so hard to maintain her emotions as she masks them with another. She is one who thinks that, the world cannot live without her. She is one hell of a scene-stealer.

... who thinks that leaving subtle clues would be enough for that individual to catch one's attention. She continuously hopes for an improvement without making the appropriate 'moves'. She keeps on thinking and rethinking different scenes and replays it in her mind to remind her of what has transpired. She is the mushy romance movie scene incarnate.

... who tries to keep the faith. Believing in happily ever afters, she tries to work everything out. She may be strong on the outset but is vulnerable inside. She is easily hurt but she maintains a strong facade outside. Subtle hints that she usually gives out to people lets her know that something IS wrong. She is one optimistic fighter.

... who radiates love itself. She is one who has patiently waited for the 'right' one and is now experiencing the fruits. She is giddy, overly-optimistic and thinks she has the right to talk about taboo topics she was not allowed to join in back then. She is simply happy, inspired and everyone who talks to her responds positively. She is one really, lucky lady.

----------------------------------------------------

Based on different personalities I have encountered. It's my opinion so ang tamaan, di umilag!.. (pero seriously, ang ma-offend ko dito, sorry :p)

Happy Birthday

2009-07-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

Ms. Luanne Puyat!

(She's a friend from High School)

Goodbye To You

2009-07-05T22:51:00.009+08:00

There's so much I want to say now
But it's too late I know
There's no way to heal these wounds now
And my heart bleeds for you

And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me

CHORUS:
So I wanted you to know
That I finally let you go
After all I've held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that I know
Is I've finally let you go

Yesterday you were my best friend
But tomorrow took you away
There's not much for me to say now
Just goodbye, farewell

And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me

CHORUS:

And every time I close my eyes
My heart is bleeding deep inside
But now my eyes are open
And I'm never gonna be the one for you
The one for you

CHORUS:

I finally let you go
Let you go
Let you go
So this is my goodbye to you

-The Breaking Point

Touch & Go

2009-07-04T22:59:00.003+08:00

As much as we may wish it weren’t so, a plain fact of human relationships is this: People come and people go. Life is like a game of touch and go, people will touch you by the heart, capture your soul then one day, they'll just go. Someone that we have loved with all of our hearts one day can, quite literally, vanish from our lives the next. Not necessarily from death. Not even from rancor. Sometimes simple circumstance can take a best friend, a lover or a partner right out of your hands, never to be seen again.

That’s sad. But that’s life.

There are times that I sit in the sun and just think of all the people who have wandered away from me. I remember all of the people that I have wandered away from. And then I wonder, will there ever be a time when they might reconnect? Not just for a ‘blast from the past,’ but a real reconnection, a rejoining, a resumption of the friendship routine as if the split had never happened. Probably not, but it has happened, and I dwell in hope that it might happen again.

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T15:30:00.007+08:00

(USofA Independence Day!)

& Happy Filipino-American Friendship Day!

Damulag

2009-07-04T14:23:00.007+08:00

The very first thing that I do every morning is check my primitve phone and read messages. Often times all I received are forwarded messages or quotes, but today, I was surprised to see a message from a friend from High School who moved to Samar last May this year.

He is a very good friend. I've known him for years, we've been classmates from 1st year High School. He's one of the funniest guy that I've known. We even call him "Damulag", it's because when he was asked to sing a song in front of the class he sang "Ako'y May Lobo" which was so popular back then because of the Anime Hit Doraemon, and ever since he was called Damulag, like the character from the show.

Patrick Martinez is the official tanggero of the barkada, and also the "runner" most of the times. What's good about him is that he's always around whenever you need him. Literally a text away, just text him, Hey, shot tayo kina blah blah and he's there instantly. Our barkada saw his real value through the years- from a funny classmate to a loyal friend to a good man.

I will never forget the good old times.

The times when what we all think about is how to drag the hours from class so we can play Counterstrike & Battle Realms again! Imagine we graduated from High School doing that for almost every day!

The banana cue, the mami, and good laughs in between.

The kulitan and tawanan during shot and tagayan session.

His epic way of making other people laugh.

I was so touched when I read his text:

(The text was originally in Kapampangan)

Patrick: "Pare, kumusta na kayo diyan? Miss you all! God bless..."

Me: "Okay lang pare, busy na rin eh, pasukan na ulit. Madalang na magkita ang tropa. Eto nga, miss ka na namin! Oh kumusta ka naman diyan?"

Patrick: "Eto, pare, ayos lang. Nakakaraos naman kahit papano kesa diyan sa atin. Ala ko nakikitang future diyan sa atin kaya baka dito na kami magstay..."

Me: "Ah ganun ba, basta okay ka lang diyan, masaya kami para sa'yo. Basta magtext ka na lang lagi, kumustahan, saka 'pag nakaipon kana at may free time ka, pasyal ka dito sa atin! Alang kalimutan, ingat lagi pare!"

Patrick: "Oo, pare, salamat. walang kalimutan talaga! Kayo lang nagturing na tunay na tropa sa akin..."

Me: "Siyempre naman, tayo tayo lang naman ang tunay na tropa! Saka the best ka kaya, ala kang katulad! Goodluck pare. God bless!"

Patrick: "Maraming salamat talaga pare, the best talaga ang tropa natin! Lalo ka na, super bait mo, ala akong masabi! Ingat pare..."

That's just part of the conversation via text. I was moved and I was touched. I didn't know that he look at me that way. We're never that close to each other but we're good friends. We don't talk about problems, he never asked for any help, I was never there for him when he needed help. It was the same for me. Maybe all he said was just "boladas"... Haha.

But what really made me attached to Patrick is, I was the last guy that he talked to before he went to Samar. He went to our house a day before his trip, he bid goodbye casually as if his trip wasn't big deal.

Friendship is really a mysterious thing.

Friendship is not only creating happy moments nor sharing problems with your firends. It's a matter of how you give importance to the person to whom you've showed not who you are but what are you as a person. It's not only on how you value the times that you've been friends but it's a long lasting commitment that you never know you're keeping.

So wherever you are Damulag, keep safe.

God bless and we miss you already!

The Truth is...

2009-07-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

...I AM NOT OK!

No matter how much I deny it. I still feel crappy, ever since the semester started. Everything's hanging and I am on the brink of having a breakdown (yet again)...

I think I'll never get use to the fast-paced life of the outside world. I remember my high school adviser once said, "it's a jungle out there..". Damn! I don't know whether to take the plunge, to cling or to walk away from my dreams. Right now I'm feeling panicky and jittery, the kind of feeling I had when I used to comepete for ranking and grades. And as the dreaded day comes, I feel the panic eating me up, slowly giving me nerve-wracking illusions.

I am unprepared.

I have never been prepared for this time. This is the one instance that I wanted to be victorious in. This is the one I wanted to be all my life, and yet I am unprepared.

I am vulnerable.

I still have many things to learn. I am prone to believing all the things that I am hearing. And right now, I am still hoping for closure.

I am impatient.

That explains the impulse actions and reactions I have done. But I have no regrets now, I've learned to accept. What happened is irreversible. I just have to control my impulses and know that the best things always come to those who wait.

If it's for me, it's for me. *sigh*

Wacko Paolo! :p

2009-06-30T11:12:00.005+08:00

I subconsciously downloaded "So Young" by The Corrs and listening to it now. I don't really like this group dati pero ngayon nagugustuhan ko na sila. I just don't know why!

Bakit ba kasi pag bata ka madali ka pang sumaya? Now I am really having a hard time finding what makes me happy more so a time pa to be happy. Sabi nila the more you are looking for it the more you will never find it. Siguro dahil desperado na ko maging masaya- long term happiness, I suppose.

Small things make me smile once in a while pero wala talga yung will last for at least a week or longer. I don't know. I've changed for the years I've known myself. BIG TIME! Drastically, in fact. Super naging numb (I was going for immune pero it wasn't something I wanted. I super resented it, in fact so okay na numb). Numb meaning SAWA, TIRED. parang if may sinabi sa akin, pasok sa left ear, labas sa right. Ganon sa lahat. Pati sa class haha. Kaya siguro I believed on having a learning difficulty. Before I can voice out my opinion, ngayon parang passive. which is never my personality at least for those who knew me way back. I miss my old life but I would never trade my life now. Masaya naman ako actually may masaya moments but fleeting. Before not so. Meron isang big time happiness pero, that is it. It did fleet rin so what's the point? Haha! Emo emohan ako. But who cares? Nagsusulat naman ako pag malungkot ako never pag masaya kasi I just want to release the super pangit na feeling. As suppose kapag masaya ako, I want to be selfish with it, relish and savor the feeling as much as possible kasi minsan lang mangyari un. I want to be selfish akin nalang muna.

Wala lang. Nonsense lang ang entry na'to at ang buong blog na'to. :p

Irony of Life

2009-06-27T11:19:00.002+08:00

In my quest for truth

I found myself questioning things more.

In my ambition of becoming something

I end up being nothing.

In my search for purpose

I found no reason.

I've ran towards happiness

I ended up in loneliness.

I tried to occupy myself with people

Instead I was unaware that I am alone.

I Must Tell Jesus

2009-06-23T11:17:00.004+08:00

I must tell Jesus all of my trials;
I cannot bear these burdens alone;
In my distress He kindly will help me;
He ever loves and cares for His own.

Refrain

I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!
I cannot bear my burdens alone;
I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!
Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.

I must tell Jesus all of my troubles;
He is a kind, compassionate friend;
If I but ask Him, He will deliver,
Make of my troubles quickly an end.

Refrain

Tempted and tried, I need a great Savior;
One Who can help my burdens to bear;
I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus;
He all my cares and sorrows will share.

Refrain

O how the world to evil allures me!
O how my heart is tempted to sin!
I must tell Jesus, and He will help me
Over the world the victory to win.

Refrain

-by Elisha Hoffman

There At The Bridge

2009-06-21T18:45:00.011+08:00

I was walking beneath the sulken cloud,

Looking around as people hurried going somewhere I don't know.

But then I felt my peripheral vision activating.

Tortured by curiosity

My nerves started moving from the brain

going through my veins the message to look.

I saw her.

Cold blooded.

Walking steadfastly.

As I beg, silently too pass her eyes on me.

It happened.

She did it!

She looked at me.

She was smiling, with her bright eyes.

Looking at me.

But then, I had realized she was at the other side of the road.

With the unstoppable flow of the traffic.

She chose to walk again, leaving me with a wave of goodbye.

I had no other choice but to continue my walk as well.

I walk up in the bridge with my head looking at my tiny sad steps.

But someone stopped my solemn walk.

And I look up who was it.

It was her.

(edited, aisyzy.multiply.com)

This is my Dad

2009-06-21T09:22:00.002+08:00

...Worrying in silence about

The future of his family

...Sacrificing each morning

To wake up for work

...Waiting for the right moment

To say the right words

...Speculating if it's the right time

To spank a mischievous child

But hurting himself most in the process

...Helping a child learn to ride his new bike

Fast on his feet when he'd fall,

Saying: "Don't quit son."

And smiling thereafter in every successful attempt.

It is most difficult to find a way to say

"Thanks, Dad!"

But for all the affectionate moments you've shared with us

And for all the sacrifices you've made for us.

I love you and

You're absolutely the best, Dad!

Buhay sa Dayuhang Bansa

2009-06-20T23:56:00.002+08:00

Ito ba ang mundo ko sa lupang pinuntahan

Timtiman ngunit maiksi ang galaw?

May sigla dapwat bakit puno ng kalungkutan?

Bakit ba nakangiti gayong mata'y luhaan?

Pinusali ng alabok ang mga luhang nag-uunahan,

Maramot ang saya, puno ng pangungulila!

Ang dinadaluyan ng aking paninimdim,

Ay agnas na diwa ng tuwang nalaing.

Gintong umaga'y hubad na ang ningning

Latag na ang kulay ng yakap na dilim

Ikubli man ng ngiti, lumbay di mapawi!

Hungkag ang buhay, 'di makapagsisinungaling.

Ang ngisi ng pait, pilit iniiwasan,

Pait na dulot ng lungkot sa aking pag-iisa.

Tanging kalasag na siyang pananggalang,

Matapat mong pangako na siyang pinanghahawakan.

Ang matapat mong pag-ibig sa akin lang nakalaan

Ako'y namumukod tangi diyan sa puso mo't isipan.

Matang mapungay, idilat man at ipikit

Bulto ng hugis at ang ngiti mong kaytamis

Di mapaknit, sa aking isip ay hindi mawaglit,

Minamahal kang tunay dito sa aking dibdib,

Damdamin kong dinidigma ng talimuwang na pagpintig

Iniibig kita sinta, laging laman nyaring isip!

To Maria Josefa (my mother)

From Leopoldo (my father)

When cellphone ain't around yet, and ym and skype was beyond our reach, families with relatives abroad connect via snail mail, letters. And this poem came from one of my father's love letters for my mom. My father works at Saudi Aramco in KSA.

Bagong Pananaw

2009-06-20T21:54:00.003+08:00

Sa aking sarili, sa dating buhay

Ako ay magaling, ito ang palagay...

Tama ako lagi, ako ay mahusay

Aking nagagawa ay dahil sa aking kakayahan.

Bagaman't namamali, napangangatwiranan,

Mga maling gawa kayang-kaya pagtakpan...

Suliraning dinanas na dumatal sa aking buhay,

Sa isipa'y nalutas ng sariling kakayanan.

Mga maling gawi at baluktot na kaalaman

Nagpalublob sa'kin sa lusak ng kamalian

Mapagmalaking gawi patuloy na inaasal,

Dahil nalulutas at nasusulusyunan.

Suliraning dinanas sa isipa'y minalas lang!

Solusyon ay hinanap, galing ay pinairal.

Husay ng isipan at kakayahang taglay...

Ngunit lupaypay, bigo at 'di nakayanan!

Dito'y sumaisip, kakayaha'y walang saysay.

Ang dating magaling ay isa nang talunan!

Ang aking husay, isa palang kamangmangan!

Sa paningin ng Manlilikha, isa lang maruming basahan.

Mga mata'y namulat, yaring isipa'y nabuksan.

Ang salita Niya'y siyang aking pinanghawakan...

Angking kataasan at mga kasalanan,

Isinukong lahat, sa Kanya'y ihiningi ng kapatawaran!

Another poem by my father.

He wrote this when he was converted, after he accepted Jesus Christ as his savior. He is a man of faith, I wish I can be like him.

Himugtong ng Makabagong Bayani

2009-06-20T19:19:00.002+08:00

Humahangos na ang ikatlong milenyo,

Nagsismula na ang ikatlong libo A.D. ng mundo...

Bakit parang sanlibutan ay lalong gumugulo?

Ang Sodomma't Gommorah'y nag-aalimpuyo!

Ang damdamin Cain ang nasa-sa-ulo.

Ngunit wala na ang Delubyo,

Sa halip, manunugis ay apoy na likha ng tao!

Sa pagmamadali ng paparating

Sinasalubong ng luces, paputok at pailaw

Kasihayan ang naghahari sa mga kalunsuran...

Ngunit sa ating kabundukan,

Dagundong ng kanyon ang umuugong!

Sa parang at kapatagan,

Machine gun at armalite kapwa nagbabadya ng alitan!

May dasal pa ba sa Edsa?

Pakitang taong sermon at misa?

Ng mga leong nag-aanyong tupa!

Humihirit pa kaya ang mga mapagsigwada?

Nagrarally kunwa, mga bayaran pala!

Ang mga bantay-pasigang madla,

Hindi na nagsawa sa kakangawa!

Aywan kung magkakaroon pa ng isang Olalia!

At ng Burnham, dayuhang mag-asawa.

Saka mga pulitikong-lilong makikipag-ugnayan

Sa ikakatahimik kuno nitong ating Bayan!

Mga mapagpanggap at mapanlinlang

Mga prayer warriors raw at si Almedang ewan

Na nang magbalik, isa ng pipi at komang!

This poem is written by my father,

Leopoldo Hilario Caranzo

on December 29, 2004, year-end & start of a new year.

He is a "Modern Day Hero"

Yes, my father is an OFW and I am so proud of him.

Addictivism

2009-06-16T18:42:00.011+08:00

n. a state of being attached strongly or having a strong affection towards a thing for a long period of time.

Sa panahon ngayon, nagkalat ang mga adik sa paligid, singhot diyan, singhot doon. Dahil daw sa kawalan ng magawa sa buhay, pinili nila na magpakalulong sa mga bisyo.

Tagay na!

Ayon sa ilang mga doctor, kailangan daw ng alkohol ng ating katawan. Ito ang naging basehan ng mga lasenggero at tanggero. May maliit na porsyento lamang ang kailangan na alak ng ating katawan. Hindi sinabi ng mga doktor na gawing gatas ang alak (two glasses a day). Hindi rin ito tubig na makapapawi ng uhaw (pwera na lang kung ikaw si ‘drunken master’). Mas kilala mo pa si Grandma kesa kay Rizal at kapag hayop ang pinag-uusapan, paborito mo pa ang Red Horse kesa kay Laika (FYI: unang aso sa outer space). Hindi masama ang pag-inom basta ilalagay sa ayos. Ang alak ay ginawa upang ihanda sa mga kasiyahan at hindi sa mga kalungkutan o magdulot ng gulo.

Yosi break…

Buga dito, buga doon… Hindi maganda ang dulot ng paninigarilyo sa katawan ngunit marami pa rin ang may gusto nito. Ayon sa ilang certified smokers, ang yosi ay nagpapaalis ng nerbiyos kapag may recitation at ginagawang pampalipas oras. Mabuti sana kung puro advantages lang. Ayon sa mga nabasa kong ‘health mags’ ang yosi ay nagbabawas ng limang minuto sa iyong buhay. Sinisira rin nito ang baga mo at pati ngipin at hininga mo. Gobyerno na mismo nagsasabi sa bawat pakete ng sigarilyo “cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health”. Pero mas nanaisin ko na itaas nila ang presyo ng sigarilyo. Imbes na 12% VAT ang ipataw nila, gawin nilang 500% VAT, lalaki pa ang kita nila. Gusto mo pa bang magyosi kung Php 10 isang stick?

Syota

Maikling tawag para sa short-time. Parang pagbibihis ng damit ang pagpapalit ng kasintahan, mas madalang pa ang pagpasok sa room. Mamamatay yata kapag hindi nagkaroon agad ng jowa. Ang dahilan daw, inspirasyon sa pag-aaral. Inspirasyon palang matatawag ang pag- cutting classes para manuod ng movie kasama ang paiba-ibang syota. Pag nahuli, lagot, pag hindi, salamat Lord. Wala kasi sila sa klase nung tinuturo ang values education. Mabuti pa nga ng mga penguin, stick-to-one. Dapat silang paalalahanan na tao tayo at hindi hayop tulad ng aso na kung saan-saan nagkakalat. Ang pagkakaroon ng kasintahan ay dapat pahalagahan. Kung hindi mo ito papahalagahan, makakaharap mo ang iyong ‘karma’.

Text mo ko, text tayong lahat…

Simula ng mauso ang unlimited texting, lahat yata ay nag register dito. Twenty-four hours na kapiling ang cellphone. Madami na ang na-snatch-an ng cellphone dahil sa katetext (muntik na din ako). Ang layunin ng mga kompanya ng sim card para sa unlimited text ay upang bawasan ang cost ng bawat isang text kung ikaw ay nangangailangang itext ang maraming tao. Minsan kahit wala na kabuluhan ang itinitext, send pa rin ng send para lang masulit ang unli. Kahit hindi naman kasi kailangan nag-reregister ka sa unli. Nauubos ang oras mo sa katetext imbes na magbasa ng mga libro. Iba yata hindi na kumakain may maipangload lang ('wag naman sana pero may mga kilala ako!). Hihintayin mo pa bang maging walo na lang ang iyong mga daliri dahil upod na ang dalawang hinlalaki mo?

Others

Kung hindi ko nabanggit ang kinaaadikan mo, ako’y humihingi ng paumanhin. Isa lang ibig sabihin nun, kakaiba ang hilig mo. Binigyan tayo ng Diyos ng isip upang malaman ang tama at mali. Laging tandaan na ang lahat ng labis ay masama. Hihintayin mo pa bang makitil ang buhay mo dahil sa mga bagay na kinahihiligan mo? Ang pangit naman yata mamatay nga dahil lang sa katetext o kaya sangkatutak na syota.

Aminin! :)

Sabihin mo mang ako'y ipokrito at nagmamalinis sa mga sinusulat ko, ito'y pawang totoo. Oo, naglalasing ako, oo, kitikitexts din ako, at oo, 24 Hrs kung OL ako, at oo at oo, marami pa akong bisyo pero anong pake mo? Asikasuhin mo buhay mo at at pag-iigihan ko ang bisyo ko! :p

Blank Page

2009-06-10T18:10:00.003+08:00

Pictures of memories flash across the page

A dove flying out of the cage

The occupied swings at the park

Makes me giggle and give off sparks

Walking hand on hand

As if without her, I cannot stand

Cheerfully playing under the rain

Washing all my hatreds and pain

Suddenly, tears mixed up with raindrops

The glowing stream of thinking then stops

Blaming myself for over-imagining

I should be contented with the blank page’s lining

(Pi Ver)

Encounter at the Bus

2009-06-05T18:49:00.013+08:00

I was sitting in a bench

waiting for the bus

I saw it coming

after minutes have had passed,

I waved at it

and the ragged vehicle stopped

As I step inside,

I noticed her among the crowd.

An angel face that instantly stricken me by the heart!

I whispered to myself,

"You are so lucky!"

The seat next to hers is empty...

So I sat right beside her, she didn't give a damn.

I couldn't stop looking,

I found myself staring

Her majestic beauty I kept on adoring!

I was lost in her presence at that very moment.

I was so absorbed to what I'm doing...

The ride from Arayat to Cabanatuan

is more or less an hour and a half.

The whole trip

I was like in cloud nine.

In seventh heaven I was floating.

A single glance is all I ask,

and I could die!

But she never looked at me.. :(

She never looked at anybody.

All those time she just looked outside,

Looking blankly at the scenery.

And before I knew it,

The bus stopped,

She stood up.

And she stepped out!

And there goes my beautiful angel.

Gone.

She is gone...

I felt a little bad.

Sad that I never got the courage to ask her name.

But still I'm hoping,

That someday, somewhere,

I'll see her again...

Caught Between the Devil & the Deep Blue Sea

2009-05-17T23:01:00.009+08:00

In life, problem comes unwelcome.

Its arrival is unforeseen.

We never have the vision to when it will knock our doors. We encounter obstacles in the most surprising moments, in times that we least expect. And in almost all situations, we find ourselves off guard, unaware of what might happen and unprepared of the intensity of the damages it could bring about to us.

Maybe, problems are the outcome of the decisions (not certainly wrong) that we made. Whatever we do affects what will come to pass in our life. Whatever we do determines what will happen next. That life is nothing but a complex chain reaction, that everything is connected. The whole thingy is linked to one another. All is correlated, that we cannot stop it from happening, that it is bound to come about at the right time, right place. We cannot impede its occurrence.

The bad thing about these inevitable events are- that once you’re in, there’s no easy way out! It doesn’t come in pretty packages with manuals for us to follow and no warranty that we can send it back to where it came from in case it doesn’t work the way we want it to be. No simple mathematical equation to solve or undo the actions we have performed. No anesthetic to relieve the pain that accompanies it.

Worse, sometimes we find our self between the devil and the deep blue sea in a dilemma; left with two choices which are both difficult to decide for we are uncertain of what it could bring us.

It’s like making a choice between life and death.

If you opt to choose life, you keep on living but your existence is almost like hell. It is full of torture, misery and agony, a life full of nightmares.

However, if you pick death and wish to end it all, it’s just like you made the choice for your soul to spend the rest of eternity in hell just to escape the problems of this world. In both cases, you lose.

But there’s a big difference between the two options.

In the latter, the outcome is 100% sure; I mean you really end up in hell. But if you choose life, there’s this slightest hint of hope that you’ll find the remedy, the light that will guide your way, a solution to whatever your problem is. That if you keep on living, someday, somebody might help you along the way.

“Do not take life too seriously.”

I have heard those lines so many times before. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t worry about life that much for I wouldn’t get out of it alive either. But I bet they didn’t suffered that much. They don’t know and they wouldn’t understand what I’m going though. Perhaps they found the answers in 1, 2, 3 simple steps.

Life isn't perfect; it's nowhere close to being one.

Life is complicated. It's too hard to battle against the twists of fate.

But one thing is for sure, there is life after death. I believe that one live a life under constant tension until it is time to go for good...

Avoid Emotional Bankruptcy- Love! (The Christian Way)

2009-05-12T09:54:00.005+08:00

There are 613 laws in the Bible.
Many, right?
But Jesus made it simple for you, "Love God and love people".
And 4 out of 10 commandments are about loving, about relationship.

Loving God is loving people.
Life is about loving God... loving people.
Loving someone...

"Live a life of love."
II John 1:6

The most important thing God wants you to know is learn how to love. Love is the foundation of everything that we do. Love is also the antidote to destroy those powerful yet negative emotions.

Life without love is worthless!
That's how essential love is.

But what is the opposite of love-
Hatred? No.
Pride? No.
It's selfishness.

A selfish person can never truly love for he lacks the power to consider.
Mahirap magmahal ng kapwa mo kung ikaw ay makasarili.
(Kaya pala nahihirapan ako? lol)

Laging namumutawi sa iyo ang mga katagang:
"Ako muna!"
"Ako ang magaling, ako ang tama!"
"Ako dapat!"
Kung kaya wala ka ng pakialam sa iba.
Sa nararamdaman niya, nila.

If you seek happiness through the love of others, if you find fulfillment and satisfaction by the amount of love you are receiving, if the purpose of loving is for you to be happy, then you're doing it wrong.

Love is not about you.
Not about the person you love neither.

Love is about the manner you are loving.
It's about how you build a relationship.
So do not take your relationship for granted.

Mother Theresa once said,
"Loneliness is the most terrible poverty"

And the Bibles says,
"It is not good for a man to be alone."
Genesis 2:18

So invest in relationships to avoid emotional bankruptcy.
(Paano mag-invest? Interesado ako. :p)

Talk to God.
Share moments with your family.
Go to church.
Go out with friends.
Date.
Mingle and love.

Love should be included in your top ten list!
And loving God must be at the top priority. #1!

"Potang lulugud ka maging mayap ing biye." (Gets mo?)
"Nagiging maganda ang buhay kapag ika'y nagmamahal." (Ayun, gets mo na!)

When you invest, you should accept too.
So connect with the ropes of acceptance.

"To accept others means that we stop trying to change them
and instead we start to understand them."

Even if you try everything to change a person you can never do it.
Only God can change a person's mind.
He's the only one who can truly touch a man's heart.

Accepting will secure you from falling.
And in case you fall it will prevent you from falling too hard.

When you accept, you can now appreciate.
Appreciation is essential for strong relationships.
When you appreciate, you'll find contentment.

Small loving actions will mean so much.
(Yeeha! Cheesy...)

So when is the best time to love?
Now na!
Do it now!
Don't delay...

(At bakit now na?)
Circumstances change.
People dies.
Children are growing.
Opportunity can pass you by.
You have no guarantee of tomorrow.

So ano pang hinihintay mo?
Mahalin mo na ang kapwa mo.
(Mahalin mo ako? Para-paraan. lol)

Invest.
Connect and accept.
Appreciate and be contented.
Do it NOW!

Minutae of a Mother

2009-05-10T21:37:00.001+08:00

Little by little you give.

Little by little you serve.

Little by little you love.

The minutae of a mother:

Singing a lullabye...

Wiping a tiny nose...

Tying a shoelace...

Pinning a diaper...

Rubbing a bruised elbow...

Admiring a dragonfly with the

boy who caught it...

Holding him up through the night

when his nose is stuffed with a cold...

Learning the multiplication table

together...

Keeping quiet and holding on

to temper when a child is wrong.

Mom, you make love visible, tangible and

soooooo real!

I love you, Mom!

Future : Uncertain

2009-03-31T15:20:00.007+08:00

Life is an adventure.
A journey.
A mission.
And we are travelers.
We are all pilgrims.
And along the way you'll find what you're looking for...

But do you really know what you want to be?
Or where you want to go?
As for me? My future is uncertain.

Even before we're born, our destinies are already written by God.

That's what they say.

That we only live to fulfill whatever purpose He has for us, whatever plans He made for us.

That fate is matter that is out of our hands.

But I want to be dissimilar; I beg to differ.
For I don't want to end up extremely disliking whoever I think is in charge of my life.

I'm not an atheist.
Actually I am a Christian. Maybe a bit lost, off course, gone astray.

I'd rather look at things this way- that I'm the one who's to blame for whatever is happening in my life.

In that way, I won't wind up pointing fingers to anybody.

I want to be hold accountable for everything.

That God had designed something for me but still I had the final say.
Still I'm the one who decides,
I'm the one who makes the final choice to whatever I want to be.
Thus, I'm liable of my life.

I believe, we all have ideal life and perfect moments that we wish for.

Well, all I want is- I want to be the best that I can be in this life.

Who doesn't what that?

But what does it really take to be someone you wanna be?

How do you make it real?

I mean, how will the plans you have in mind be executed?

How will you turn dreams into reality? Fantasy into real world?

A friend told me, I should not look at life too forward.
To live life one day at at time, just enjoy the ride and be a passenger in life.

To cherish every moment and to get the best of things life has to offer.

To never worry and accept whatever comes my way.

On the contrary, someone also advised me to plan my days, plan my life.
Have a goal.

Draw limitations.

Dream and do every possible way just to achieve what goals you have without exceeding the limitations that you made for yourself.

So now I'm wondering, how can you possibly enjoy life when you feel like a robot following some stupid guidelines that you set for yourself?

Oh God! I really don't know how I will live my life!
What I wanna be and where I want to go?
Still I do not know.

Who Am I?

2009-03-16T15:45:00.002+08:00

I'm a BornAgain Christian.
I'm spiritual but not religious.

Murse - male nurse in the making.
In a female dominated profession, someday I will exist!

I love writing.
I write poems, essays & stories based on my life.
I'm a bothered soul, I have jumbled thoughts.

I am an emo-wannabe.
And maybe that explains a lot about me being a major 'drama king'...

Loved but untouched.
Loving but unreciprocated.
Waiting but impatient.

Camouflagic, transparent.
Black and white person.
Humorous yet 'suplado'...
I'm pretty complex.
I'm simple.

I contradict myself.
You can define me as a series of contradictions rolled into one personality.

I don’t seem to care what others think about me.
But I really care about other people.

I value friendship a lot.
And sometimes I overdo it.

I'm avoidant.
Shy is an incredible understatement.
Give me time and I'll speak in sentences.
Try to understand that when I talk.
all I want to do is cry over how horrible I sound.

Introduction

2009-03-15T16:05:00.004+08:00

Wonder why I'm here?

I'm not new to this blogging thing.

I tried Friendster blog, Multiply, Tumblr but I wasn't able to keep it up and enjoy it at the same time. My friends have blogs and they tempted me to make my own. So, here it is.

There would be more entries coming.

This is just an introduction. Anyways, I have nothing more to say.

So thanks for reading.

I'll be posting more experiences and random thouights, hopefully it makes sense. :)

An Open Letter : I am in Self-Exile

2008-09-18T14:50:00.006+08:00

I've been experiencing this weird feeling for the last few days- hate! I don't know but I just don't wanna associate myself with my friends anymore. I don't wanna be with them, I don't wanna hear anything about them. Bitter? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I just found so many reasons not to cling anymore for the so called "friendship".

I guess, there will come a point in someone's life when you'll get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything. It's not giving up, it's just a realization that you don't need all of those you went after, because what you need are those who stood by you even if you never needed them.

Sometimes you need to be alone to find yourself.

To think and realize something.

To become better.

To learn to live a life that is not centered and almost run by the idea of "friends forever".

For there is no such thing!

(Not quite sure... still hoping that there is!)

Well, dear friends, don't be sadden. I will be alright.

I think I will and I should be. (Laugh)

I'm still a friend. I can still be a friend.

All I need now is some time, some space ika nga.

I will be back to the "friend" you used to know sooner or later.

I'll be back when I finally got myself out of the self-inflicted misery that I got myself into. And I hope by that time, you are all still willing to be a friend of mine.

I wrote this letter in my old blog before.

The blog was shut down but luckily a friend of mine, repost it in her Multiply account, that's why I was able to retrieved it. Ironically, my so called "Self-exile" made my relationship with my friends better. Maybe that's the real essence of friendship, to understand each other at all times, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, they will still stand by you. They will leave you, give you space but will never forget you. I am so lucky to have such good friends!

Bad Egg, Devil's Egg

2008-07-28T15:42:00.010+08:00

Today, something happened that I should be happy about but I don’t feel like celebrating at all. I dunno, guess it’s not what I really want in my life. I feel like I’m fast aging, and as I grow older I just get more and more frustrated with my life. I get older every year but I don’t feel like I’ve learned something or anything. I have proven nothing; there is not even a single accomplishment that I can be proud of.

I am fed up with how my life is running right now. I have achieved a lot of things for my schools before, but at the moment, I have a lot to achieve for myself. With each day that passes by, I am getting tired and tired. I am starting to give up. I don’t know whether I can keep with the pace. I demand for something else, I want a better me. I need to be something, but I do not know how.

I can still recall the exact words of how my teachers from elementary and high school would say, that I am a jack of all trades, that I can do and be anything I want. Maybe I am, maybe I can. It was flattering to the ears at first. But I forgot something; I forgot the words that completes the phrase- A jack of all trades is a master of none.

I have read “I Was the Devil’s Egg” by R.J. Kuglin and I envy him. He was lost just like me but he was lucky enough to get his way back on the right track. But I envy him more because he had someone to help him figured it all out. He had someone to walk with him along the way. Lucky me, I have no one.

With every facade of my life unfolding right before my very eyes, as I look back with all my mischief and mishaps, I start to realize, maybe it’s true, that after all, I am really a master of none, a no good person- a bad egg, a devil’s egg.

Maybe I came from an egg.

Laid by the demon.

Left in nothingness and then the sun hatched it.

Maybe that’s why I am good with nothing.

It’s my birthday, supposedly, I am happy. I guess I’ll keep on wearing my mask- the happy face. I’ll just cover it up. For it is easier to act like there’s nothing wrong rather than explain what’s causing me my pains. For sometimes even if you lay it all on the table, still they wouldn’t understand, so I’ll keep on portraying that I’m okay. I’m all right and nothing’s bothering me. It’s easier that way.

I wrote this in a piece of paper last July 28, 2008.
That's my birthday, I locked up myself in my room all day...

Somehow, what I wrote about here is still bothering me.
But I feel a lot better now.
I thank my family for understanding my decisions in life.
And thanks too, to my friends that won’t give up on me just yet.
Though you know that these decisions I made aren’t the best, you’re still there to say it’s just okay.

That I can still make up with the mess I made.
I love you all, so much.
And I wish I can be a better me for all of you.
I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble…